February 2nd 2014
Wilder is fourteen weeks old.
We began this past week with Wilder celebrating his 3 month birthday. It has become apparent that mothers who told me that three (months) was the “magic number” knew what they were talking about. He is getting more adorable and expressive by the day and our interactions are so much more rewarding than the first few months where I often felt like I was winning by simply keeping him alive. His motor control and personality is developing so rapidly that when Andy returns from his tour, Wilder will be somewhat of a new baby.
Lee Kyle has been gone now for quite a few days and Andy left this past Monday. Thankfully Cathy was already helping out before Andy left, so the transition wasn’t very rough. I also took some time to make a schedule of friends to come by to assist with Wilder while the boys are out of town. Work has been difficult, and will only continue to get more stressful with our upcoming deadline. I wish that I had been able to take some time off while the guys were travelling, but unfortunately that was impossible to schedule. I did luck out though and get to work from home on Tuesday because we experienced such cold and icy weather. It was very fun to be able to spend the day at home with Wilder and enjoy his happy mood. We played records and had a dance party then we made a wonderful lunch and dinner. I didn’t get much work done, although Cathy was there to help when I asked. I wanted to spend as much of the day with him as possible, since I don’t generally have the luxury of staying home during the work week. Wilder watched his first partial episode of Baby Einstein on YouTube that night. I know I said that he wouldn’t have screen time until much older, but I wanted to see his reaction. It was an episode that featured a lot of trippy, swirly images and serene photos. I couldn’t help but think it would be enjoyable to watch while on mushrooms or LSD. I wonder if that is what life is like for a three month old? If so, now I know why he is smiling all the time.
I trudged into work on Wednesday in 28 degree weather, which is ridiculously cold for New Orleans. I was the only one in my office for quite a few hours and many people choose not to come in at all. The day went by very slowly and I wished that I had just stayed home again. Andy’s sister Dawn arrived from New York to help out with Wilder. I was worried that the weather might affect her flight but she had no problems getting here. She was ecstatic to meet him and because she had arrived mid-day, Cathy had greeted her at the house while I was at work. I had never spent very much time with Dawn, so I was a bit apprehensive about her visit. But I had been apprehensive about Cathy as well, and that was working out beautifully.
Dawn turned out to be incredibly helpful as well. She embraced Wilder as her true nephew and completely supported our unique family situation. It was good for us to have a chance to get to know each other. I had been taking care of Andy’s two dogs in his absence (with help from our friend Kelly). So it was extremely convenient to have both Dawn and Cathy around to care for Wilder. It is often difficult for parents to find people that they truly trust with their children, but that has not been the case for Wilder. He is such a blessed child (and I as one of his parents) to have such a wonderful network of caring family and friends.
On Wednesday night Wilder face timed for the first time ever with Andy. It was quite adorable watching him stare at Andy on the phone. I had never used face time before and always thought it was a bit useless, but now I see its function. We were having a splendid night and then after dinner while I was still seated at the dining room table with Wilder on my lap, he threw his little body forward and smacked his head on the table. He was shocked and upset, but no real damage was done as there wasn’t even a mark. Real tears came from his eyes and I felt HORRIBLE. Like “worst- mother-of-the-year award” bad. I immediately texted Dori, who is one of my oldest, closest friends and she responded “Well at least you weren’t drunk when it happened.” That made me feel better, along with the fact that he only cried for a minute. I was worried that Dawn would think I was a careless mother, but she didn’t. She has four children of her own, so she wasn’t fazed.
On Friday night Laura Fine came over and helped out by holding and snuggling with Wilder while I made dinner for all of us. We had a wonderful night filled with laughter and good conversation (which seems to always happen when Laura comes over.) I remember in the latter part of my pregnancy, I would often think of my own family and it made me sad to think that none of my immediate family would be here to meet and spend time with Wilder. After he was born there were days when I would feel depressed and anxious over the fact that as far I was concerned, I wouldn’t have much family to provide him. On nights like this past Friday, with Dawn (Andy’s sister), Cathy (Lee’s oldest friend) and Laura (one of my favorite people) seated around my dining room table just cooing over our son, I was reminded that family is what you make it. Wilder will never be without family, it would be impossible.
I insisted that Dawn and I get Wilder out of the house on Saturday because the weather was beautiful. We met Melissa, Vaughn and their son Nicco at City Park. We had fresh beignets and café au lait in the gorgeous sunshine, which everyone enjoyed except for Wilder. I swear he must be part vampire because he doesn’t like to be outside in sunny weather. He arches his back and acts very fussy, even if he is shaded from the rays. He seems to prefer a good overcast day and never cries even when it is storming thunderously outside his bedroom window. I hope he gets over his discontent for the sunshine. Luckily we had Melissa there, who is a baby whisperer and she had him calm and happy within minutes of her arrival. It was fun to watch Nicco play and interact with other children. I look forward to watching Wilder grow into an adorable little boy like him.
My sweet cousin Crystal came over for dinner on Saturday night. Actually, she came over with all the stuff to prepare dinner and then proceeded to cook us a delicious meal. She went to culinary school, so I don’t feel bad about asking her to cook. Once again it was a fun evening spent around the dining room table. I realized how rarely Andy and I eat together, let alone have family dinner including Lee Kyle and Clint, and I decided that when both the boys get back I will suggest that we eat together more often. I think it is important not only for Wilder, but for all of our relationships.
Today the week ended with worry followed by relief. I noticed that Wilder hadn’t urinated during the night for nearly a six hour stretch. After I fed him his morning bottle, he thankfully did. In the afternoon he went another long stretch without urinating, and when he finally did I noticed an orange spot in his diaper. I immediately called the answering service for the pediatrician and luckily Doctor Capone called me back rather quickly. I was afraid that what I had seen was blood in his urine but it turned out to be uric acid crystals. I had been pacing the floor expecting Dawn and I to be taking Wilder to Children’s Hospital, but thankfully that was not the case. I went and grabbed some pedialyte at the suggestion of Doctor Capone and by the end of the night Wilder was urinating normally with no sign of uric acid. It had been scary and the situation made me miss Andy very much. As grateful as I am for all the help, I will be very happy when both he and Lee Kyle get home.