March 20th, 2013
I had an amazing trip to the bayou with a few of my dearest friends this past weekend. I hadn’t gotten out of the city since before my father passed away in January. I’m always a bit lackadaisical when it comes to making plans to leave town. I worry about the money lost when taking time off from work and I fret over who will watch and take dear care of my two darling pups. I get a lot of anxiety about leaving, but once I’m in the car or on the plane, I stop worrying and enjoy my time away. I really needed to get away and this was the perfect opportunity.
One of my dearest friends Misty and her husband John invited me to join them for Cypress Bayou Weekend which can best be described as an adult summer camp. It takes place once a year in Lake Fausse Pointe State Park and is attended by over 60 people. The people are very diverse and the group is extremely welcoming. While there is a spiritual aspect to the retreat and it raises money for the Louisiana Himalaya Association (lhainfo.org) there is no pressure or requirement to participate in any of the activities provided. I went as a guest and a yoga teacher and taught three classes over the weekend. I stayed in a cabin with Misty, John and his best friend Lonnie who was visiting from California. Andy drove me up on Thursday and upon our arrival Lonnie was cooking crawfish etouffee. Sadly Andy had to head back to the city and he missed eating the delicious meal.
Friday morning came with 6:30 am meditation on the bayou, and no sign of my period. Watching the sun rise and thinking about my desired baby was extremely peaceful. After meditation Misty led a nature walk through the park and to the levee. We got back just in time for a delicious group breakfast. I spent the day attending a few workshops on neuro-kinetics and energy work before teaching a yoga class. While I know some people would find this retreat to be too “hippie dippy” or “out there”, I loved it. I fell asleep peacefully after a full day on Friday and was a bit worried when I woke in the middle of the night with some light cramping.
Usually my cramps go from 0 to “I need a Percocet” on the first day of my period. These cramps were different. While they weren’t easy to ignore, they also weren’t painful. I woke on Saturday to some light spotting of dark blood. While this immediately bummed me out, I told myself that if I started my period it wasn’t the end of the world, and we would just try again very soon. One of the benefits to the retreat was that no electronics were allowed, which meant no internet or cell phones (phones don’t work there anyway.) This prevented me from doing what I what have immediately done at home, which would have been to Google information about cramping and spotting, going as far as to compare online colors of blood to mine. I was thankful that I wouldn’t spend my day doing this.
Lonnie, John’s friend, is an energy worker. He offered to do a session on me in the afternoon and I was excited to see how it would go. Misty and John both knew that I was in the process of trying to have a baby and they asked if I cared if Lonnie knew. I didn’t care one bit. This type of work can be called many things including Reiki, Healing Touch, Acupuncture, etc. and focuses on your Chi or Chakras. While these types of therapies can be very helpful, unfortunately there are many people who exploit energy medicine. We had discussed this unfortunate fact earlier that day.
John and Lonnie checked out my energy field. It appeared that everything was flowing as it should but Lonnie had some specific comments about the baby. In some Eastern philosophies they believe that the soul of the unborn child is floating in the ether and is drawn to the passion of the woman and man making love and that is how the presence enters the mother’s body. Lonnie felt that I am physically capable of having a child, and that a soul is waiting to reincarnate but needs a true commitment from both parents. It longs for security. He saw a young boy with dark hair in my field but then admitted that he was not predicting the sex of my child as that would be a bit much. His assessment made sense to me considering the fears and concerns that Andy has voiced since the beginning. I felt better after the session and my cramps had subsided a bit and by the next morning the spotting had almost completely ceased.
I left the bayou on Sunday and got back home early afternoon St. Patrick’s Day. Andy met me at my house and we went to lunch. I told him about Lonnie and the baby and he said “Jesus, this kid is going to have four parents, how much more of a commitment does it want.” We both laughed at that. After lunch I made Andy stop at Walgreens so I could pick up an early response pregnancy test. I told myself that I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to take the test. Andy dropped me off and I unpacked and played with the dogs for a bit. I tried to busy myself but couldn’t resist the temptation. Finally when I had to pee pretty badly, I removed the test from its package, soaked it in urine and hoped for the best.
POSITIVE! Holy Shit I am pregnant! I didn’t have one of those moments that you see on the commercials where the woman cries and hugs her adoring, concerned partner. Instead I stumbled out of my dark ass bathroom into the light of the dining room to thoroughly examine the test. I was very happy but also very “Oh my God, this shit is really happening.” I immediately snapped a photo of the test and sent the picture to Andy. I expected him to call right away, but after 15 minutes and no response I sent the message to Lee Kyle. After ten more minutes with no congratulations from anyone, I sent the message to my best friend Amanda, and she immediately responded. I called her and told her that no one else had responded and wondered if this was once again foreshadowing. She dispelled my dramatic thinking and moments later Andy called. He had been at the bar doing some gross plumbing and had just seen the message, and told me he was happy and heading over. Moments later Lee Kyle texted form LA where he was working on a movie. He was very shocked and happy as well, “So excited and such a relief I don’t have to jerk off in a cup again.” Andy came over to congratulate me and all of a sudden it all seemed very real. I guess my spirit baby made its mind up after all.